Moving Forward

So today is the day that I walk across a stage and shake a hand to receive a piece of paper. Even though that paper isn't actually in what I'll be grabbing, today feels huge. For four and a half years  I have looked forward towards this day. It has been quite the journey.  I've been thinking back on the me that started my freshman year at University of Northern Iowa and all I can think is that God has done a huge work in me. The last few years have been hard. I won't deny it. The death of my Dad from cancer rocked me. Moving to a new state to help start a church was hard. However, God has taught me so so much. The death of my dad forever changed me. Something so painful and horrible as death, God has used to not only draw me closer to Him but he has used to draw others closer as well. Dad's death brought a whole new perspective to my life. Without that I don't think I would have started to pursue God with as much fervor and passion that I now have. I realized that life is short and I want to make every decision based in light of the Gospel and what God calls me to. Making Disciples. Moving to a new state, starting at a new college, alongside a new job, was a lot. I won't lie, my first semester down in CoMo was rough. But, oh how God moves when we are faithful. I found great joy in the community we began to form in Columbia Mo.

The Salt Company Ministry has played such a huge role in my life. It taught me about discipleship. How to read my bible. How to be vulnerable and let people in. How to speak truth with Grace. How to form my own community. How to lead with humbleness. How to live out what God is teaching me. How to be missional in all aspects of life. I could go on with everything I have learned in Salt. It has laid such a great foundation for me in my pursuit of Christ for the rest of my life. I am so grateful that I got to be apart of this ministry as a student and leader. I have loved seeing the Salt Company down here in Columbia grow. It draws tears of joy to my eyes to see college students come to know my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.

One of the biggest lessons God has taught me these last four and half years is how to be uncomfortable. You see I like to be comfortable. However God has called me to more than that. Beginning my freshman year he broke down some of the walls I had that wouldn't allow me to let people in. I started to realize that the uncomfortableness that happened when I opened up grew me. Of course it's uncomfortable to talk about sin in front of people. Of course its hard to talk about your dad slowly wasting away in from of your eyes from Cancer. But through being uncomfortable God can shine. It is when I am most uncomfortable that I often find myself leaning on God the most. Moving to a new state where I really only knew one person was uncomfortable. I had to step out and be bold in meeting new people. This lead me to realize how missional life should be. I have learned so much about God, myself, and people in CoMo.

I could fill pages on all the things God has taught me since my first year of college but I'll keep this post short.

This next semester I am excited to announce that I will be going on to get my masters in counseling at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. On track to get my license and become a LPC. I am so beyond excited to pursue this and be equipped to serve and love people well in this way. The journey to this decision was filled with a lot of prayer and God changing my heart in so many ways.

Going into college I had absolutely no idea on what I wanted to do. When I was little I had this dream of being an Archaeologist. This occurred after reading about Pompeii in second grade in Mrs.Williams classroom. However I didn't think that was realistic and thought I would go into psychology after taking the intro class at UNI. I loved it and it was easy for my mind to wrap itself around. Then the spring of my freshman year I took an Anthropology class. Now you may be asking yourself what in the world is Anthropology. Don't worry you aren't alone, I get this question all the time. It's the study of Humans. Sounds simple right? But there are subfields such as Biological Anthro, Linquistics, Archaeology, and Cultural Anthro. This class was on cultural anthropology. I loved it. My professor pulled me aside after class one day and told me that I needed to major in this. I ended up double majoring while at UNI. In anthropology I found that the way I thought fit in really well with how anthropologists think. I love to know the why behind everything. This is exactly what anthropologists do. They even study people, which I love. It seemed to be the perfect mix of psychology and history. My two favorite subjects. So in this way began my dream of being an Anthropologist. When I moved to Missouri I didn't like their psychology program at all. I then decided to just major in anthropology.

This is when God began to break down some of my dreams to make his own known. I began to have this crisis about what I was going to do with my life. I questioned everything. It didn't seem realistic to pursue this dream of anthropology but I was holding onto it tight. I was good at it, I loved it, and I could travel and share the gospel while doing it. But God reminded me of gifts that he has given me and my passion for mental health and the church. How my life looks different now that I have relationship with him. That life is short. Im here to make his name great, not my own. I realized that this dream wasn't where God was leading me. I painfully let go of it. Then I began to see my passion for counseling. I remembered hearing about Midwestern's program and put my info in online to hear about more information. I got a call the next day from them and went on a visit the following fall.  Not long after I sent my application in and got accepted into the program. I am so excited to begin this new journey in Kansas City at Midwestern.


Today I wish my dad could be there to see me walk across that stage. But I know he would be proud of me. God has shown me greatly how much of a heavenly father he is these last three years. Today I will walk confidently knowing that my heavenly father is with me every step.

Moving Forward : Colony House

I found life and I found laughter.
In forgiveness, I found rest.
On the shoulders of redemption,
I found hope when hope was dead.
I could lose it in a moment,
So I dare not close my eyes.
I'll watch fear fall with the sunset
And see hope rise with the tide.
And when the pain is true,
Sometimes these troubles prove that I'm alive.

My eyes are open,
My heart is beating,
My lungs are full,
And my body's breathing.
I'm moving forward.
I found my freedom.
I found the life that gave me reason to live.

As this dusty road now settles
And I see what lay before,
Every tear that held a broken dream
Is now shattered on the floor.
And now bursting forth in splendor
Are the blossoms of second tries
Because dreams that bear the mark of love
Are dreams that never die.

Sometimes
Life can feel so unkind.
Sorrow won't define me
So just reminds my soul.
My soul

My eyes are open,
My heart is beating,
My lungs are full,
And my body's breathing.
I'm moving forward.
I found my freedom.
I know this sorrow.
I know the heartache.
I know with fear comes a tragic heartbreak.
Well I'm moving forward.
I found my freedom.
I found the life that gave the reason to love.