When A Song Comes Along

Sometimes there are moments where my words don't do justice to what is in my heart. A lot of times when the pain seeps in and and tries to gain a foothold words fail me and the tears just roll. Its in those moments that music best expresses my heart. Grief is messy and hard to explain to someone that hasn't experienced loss. Im starting to see that song can express emotion and pain in a way that words often can't. The other day I was showing one of my new friends, Peyton a band I really love, Colony House. I had her listen to one of their new songs and my favorite song of theirs. My favorite song of theirs is one that describes grief so well that I said to Peyton, "That's what it feels like sometimes and its hard to talk about." An idea formed in my head to form a short playlist of the songs I feel describes grief in a way that I can't. Lately with a lot of the change that is happening in my life I find myself missing my dad a lot. God has been blessing me with some new friends that are super intentional about asking me how Im actually doing. Im learning a lot about friendship lately and how beautiful it is. So here is my short playlist. I would encourage you to take time and listen to some of these beautiful songs. 

https://open.spotify.com/user/126326316/playlist/2fUSlx44tMGSgUEle28htg

"Sorrow" by Sleeping At Last

It feels like falling.

It feels like rain.

Like losing my balance

Again and again.

It once was so easy;

Breathe in, breathe out.

But at the foot of this mountain,

I only see clouds.

I feel out of focus,

Or at least indisposed

As this strange weather pattern

Inside me takes hold.

Each brave step forward,

I take three steps behind.

It's mind over matter -

Matter over mind.

Slowly, then all at once.

A single loose thread

And it all comes undone.

Where there is light,

A shadow appears.

The cause and effect

When life interferes.

The same rule applies

To goodness and grief;

For in our great sorrow

We learn what joy means.

I don't want to fight, I don't want to fight it.

I don't want to fight, I don't want to fight it.

I don't want to fight, I don't want to fight it.

But I will learn to fight, I will learn to fight,

'Til this pendulum finds equilibrium.

Slowly, then all at once.

The dark clouds depart,

And the damage is done.

So pardon the dust

While this all settles in.

With a broken heart,

Transformation begins.

"Won't Give Up" by Colony House

I wear the guilt upon my chest

Cause I feel like I've earned it

And keep the bloodstains on my hands

To show that I've done this

Oh how I wish I could escape that day

Take back time and make everything okay

But I can't

There must be something in my lungs

That keeps me from breathing

As deep and full as I once could

Now my mind starts repeating

Oh, the pictures in my head

They roll like the movies

I shut my eyes to cut the thread

But my memory shows no mercy

Still I won't give up now

No I won't give up now [x3]

Too many dreams I didn't want to dream

Too many night alone where I can't sleep

I've got the devil on my back

Trying to take home from me

But I see Jesus out in front

He's reaching back for the lonely

Reaching back cause he loves me

I take his hand because she loved me

No I won't give up now [x4]

“Not Alone” by Strahan

I've been watching

I've been watching for a while

Wearing down my shoes

Wearing down the glue

I've been hoping

Hoping you'd open your eyes

Cause things are soon to change

Through all the years of wind and rain

You are not alone

I've been waiting

I've been waiting for a while

For the covered night to fade

And the chill to warm away

Oh Lord because I know

I know you've been blind for a while

But let the water wash away

All those years and all those muddy scales

You are not alone

Child you'll never see your face

Poured out like the winter rain

No you are not alone

You are not alone

And in moments you will feel the pace

Caught up in the human race

No you are not alone

You are not alone

Give Me A Song: Will Reagan

There’s not a prayer I’ve prayed

That You haven’t heard

Not a tear I’ve shed

That You didn’t feel

You’re the God who comes to raise the dead

I know You’ll raise me up again

I know You’ll raise me up again

Who can praise You from the grave

to see the life you gave

Just to see the life you gave

Just to see the life you gave

Every fear in me You’ve put to rest

It’s the song sing I bring

Of Your faithfulness

And every tear has led my feet to stand

Where the ocean meets the land

Where the ocean meets the land

Sink or swim I’m diving in

Where the river starts rushing

Where my heart starts beating

For the rhythms of the testing

And the songs of the trials

I will lift a cry up to You

Sung with hope inside my eyes

Sink or swim I’m diving in

To the passion of Your heart

Where love starts

I lift my hands if my hands fail me

I’ll bend my knees if my knees grow weak

I’ll raise my voice and sing, I’ll sing

I know that You love me

Give me a song to sing (x3)

And I will sing it

Give me a song to sing (x3)

And I will sing it to You God (x3)

Give me a song to sing (x3)

And I will sing it

Give me a song to sing (x3)

And I will sing it to You God (x3)

“Hiding Place” by Citizens and Saints

Your love is steadfast and ceases to end

A comfort in trials and constant defense, it is sure

Morning by morning your mercies are new

Filling my soul with the pleasures of truth, I am safe

Yes, I am safe

Late in the night I am met with relief

For worry and doubt that I cling to for peace, it is well with my soul

My God, refuge and strength you are my joy and my hiding place

God of all renoun you are my joy and my hiding place

You are my joy and my hiding place

When I am pressed with the pain of regret

You conquer the lies that would say I'm condemned

Yes I know, I am free

Lord you are faithful to all those who wait

Through stillness and chaos your peace is a friend

Oh my soul, rest in Him

My God, refuge and strength, you are my joy and my hiding place

God of all renoun, you are my joy and my hiding place

You are my joy and my hiding place

You are my joy and my hiding place

You are my joy and my hiding place